Oscar host intends to spank 'Fifty Shades'

Sometimes when you're an Oscar host, providence shines upon you. Like when S&M film Fifty Shades of Grey opens to record box office tallies a week before the Academy Awards.

"That (movie) will have to be discussed, or at least spanked," says Neil Patrick Harris, who will be hosting the Oscars (ABC, Sunday, 7 p.m. ET/4 PT) for the first time. "There must be a riding crop in the show in some regard."

Harris even plans to wear something very Christian Grey under his tuxedo.

"No one will know unless there's some sort of wardrobe malfunction, this is just for me," says Harris. "But be positive there will be a whole other outfit underneath."

Kinky. So what other topics will Harris hit upon during his Oscar stint? USA TODAY ran down the possibilities:

Deflategate. It might have been last month, but Harris feels there's still life in deflated ball jokes — just because of the name.

"Balls are always in play. You will never hear me say that ball comedy is not funny," says Harris.

Sony hacking scandal. Not likely. Harris makes it clear that he's a fan of Amy Pascal, the now-departed Sony Pictures Entertainment co-chairman whose leaked e-mails provided gleeful media fodder in December. "I'm Team Amy Pascal. She's a super-impressive individual," says Harris. "There will not be many jokes at her direct expense, I am sure."

North Korea. Don't expect Harris to target North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, the subject of Sony's satirical comedy The Interview.

Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler mocked North Korea extensively while hosting January's Golden Globes, even using Margaret Cho to portray a stone-faced North Korean journalist.

"Amy and Tina went there pretty hard," says Harris. "I am not going to use Margaret Cho this year."

Lack of diversity in the nominations. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences voting body was criticized for nominating an all-white slate of actors. Can Harris joke about it?

"Potentially, but I worry that my commenting on that fuels the fire instead of making it funny. But we'll see," says Harris.

Ben Affleck's junk. Bingo. Affleck's brief full-frontal moment in Gone Girl will almost certainly be fodder. Even a chagrined Affleck has publicly joked about it. "I have like nine or 10 jokes about Ben Affleck's penis that he so proudly displayed in seven frames of Gone Girl," says Harris. "I'm not sure which one will have the biggest laugh."